These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes-

This one is a work in progess- still trying to figure out what I am actually trying to say.




“serpents go to sleep, come dancing with devils, we’ll waltz like an army before the fear of our pain, our souls become useless, the truth remains lethal, shoes become hammers and my words become sand..”



I do my best thinking when people are asleep. I think I am a monster of the night. It’s always been a struggle for me to sleep. Since I was a little kid, it’s taken me hours longer than most people to drift off and even then it’s a fitful sleep. I thrash, roll around, have night sweats and terrors and wake up hourly. I have wished for years for peaceful nights of sleep but they don’t exist for me. So, I find myself doing my major life decision thinking when most people are dreaming about theirs.

I have also found that I spend a lot of time watching other people sleep. I have had a night or two of watching someone in the same bed as myself deep asleep off in their own special dreamworld. I have watched people smile, laugh, talk and roll around in a land that is only in their own special place. I have wondered for a very long time why I don’t get that special place. The only dreams that I remember are the specifically terrible ones. Even as a child, I didn’t remember my dreams. I’ve spent hours reading books on dream interpretation and wishing that I had something to compare it to. Just once I wish that I could wake up and look something up in that book and understand what was happening in my brain or what something strange meant. I would be content to even understand the weird dreams that don’t always mean good things. You aren’t supposed to just understand the good stuff, you are meant to understand the bad as well. Or at least know that it’s happening.